May 3, 2020  (Post #38)

(From Journal #3:  December 7, 2005)

So much happened over the past week.  While in Atlanta visiting Pam, the strange pain that’s been off/on in my right side began to hurt about 10:00 p.m. and it didn’t ease at all.  By 2:30 a.m. it had become excruciating.  I’d been praying for hours and wisdom told me to wake Pam and go to the hospital.  Appendicitis kept coming to my mind.  The ER doctor feared appendicitis too because I had an elevated white blood count, and he would not release me without a CT scan.  He said the scan didn’t give a clear view of the appendix but he felt it was okay.  Thank You, Jesus!  I’d told him about being diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma and he saw one of the lymph nodes as 2×2.5 cm?  I believe that’s even more shrinkage from my last scan!

It was about 8:00 a.m. when we got back to Pam’s and just a few minutes after, I got a call from a friend in Texas.  She said she woke up around 4:00 a.m. with me on her heart and she’d been praying for me that morning and wanted to know if I was okay?  I was in the ER at that time waiting for the CT scan!  I know You woke her to pray for me and against the attack on my body!  Bless her for her faithfulness to pray and intercede for me.  I am so grateful Lord!  

I was glad to get back home finally but fatigued and a little overwhelmed from the pain and ER experience.  As an act of faith on healing, Saturday I worked outside in the yard most of the day.  I dug up off-shoots of crepe myrtles and replanted them where I want them to grow.  I planted mums and 5 flats of pansies. I could not have done this without Your strength. 

There was something very healing about planting and expecting these things to live, grow and thrive, especially the crepe myrtles.  It’s like planting little sprouts of faith expecting them to grow deep roots and grow tall, strong, and beautiful.  I worked like a healed, energetic, pain-free, focused person and it felt like I was making a statement to the enemy that he is defeated!  Thank You for being my healer!

Luke 8:15: But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

1 Corinthians 3:7:  So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.

Ephesians 6:18:  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Romans 8:26:  In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

April 25, 2020 (Post #37)

(From Journal #3:  November 1, 2005)

This morning as I read the Word, Psalm 66:16-20 spoke so powerfully to me:

“Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me. I cried out to Him with my mouth; His praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, Who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love from me!”

The phrase “cherished sin” really jumped out at me.  What does it mean to cherish sin?  One definition describes cherish as to harbor, entertain, possess, hold on to, cling to, keep in one’s mind, foster, or nurture.  Wow, Lord!  This hit me between the eyes.

So often we pray about people and situations, but we “cherish” sin while we’re praying. We pray to You but we’re not really willing to lay down some things.  If we’re honest, we’re holding on to unforgiveness, anger, resentment, bad habits, addictions, unhealthy relationships, lack of self-discipline, greed, reckless spending and bad stewardship, and even downright laziness.

Lord, help me to be honest with myself about any sin I may be cherishing in my heart when I come to You in prayer, that my prayers are not hindered!

Psalm 26:2:   Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;

Psalm 32:5:   I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.

Psalm 139:23-24:   Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

2 Corinthians 13:5:  Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test? 

April 19, 2020   (Post #36)

(From Journal #3:  October 31, 2005)

As Christians, we so often talk about “putting on the armor of God” but You showed me that the armor has an order to it.  First, there must be truth.  Then we need righteousness, which cannot exist without truth.  And our feet cannot support truth or righteousness without the readiness that only comes from the gospel of peace.  If truth, righteousness and peace aren’t in place, I cannot effectively raise the shield of faith or wield the sword of the Spirit.

I’ve been trying to use my sword and shield without having the foundation of my armor in peace.  Without my belt of truth, I don’t even see the true enemy.  Without righteousness, I cannot operate in obedience and love.  Without my feet ready to stand firm on the gospel of peace, I will only have strife, fear and unbelief.  How could I possibly have a sword that is sharp and effective without faith, or a shield of faith without my body armor?

The belt, breastplate and shoes are body armor.  The shield and the sword are weapons of war.  The helmet of salvation protects our minds as we boldly stand in the authority of Jesus and on His Word.  I must be sure to “cover” and protect my body with truth, righteousness, and peace before I take my weapons into battle.

Ephesians 6:10-18: Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—

March 8, 2020 (Post #30)

(From Journal #2:  September 7, 2005)

In Acts 28, Paul made it to the island of Malta.  All on the ship were saved because of him.  He gathered brushwood and as he put it on the fire, a viper driven out by the heat fastened itself to his left hand!  The islanders thought he must have done something to deserve it, that it was a punishment.  The people expected him to swell up and die, but when he didn’t, they changed their minds and thought he was a god. Paul had so much faith (fire) that he didn’t panic or fear the viper.  But Paul shook off the snake and suffered no ill effects! The people then knew Paul was different and that something special was on his life.  He then, through the power of Jesus, healed everyone on the island!  Then Paul did much traveling to get to Rome.  The Lord sent some brothers who invited Paul, Luke and the others to stay with them.  The Bible said that at the sight of these men, Paul thanked God and was encouraged.  Even though Paul had been through so much and seen God’s faithfulness many times, he still needed encouragement and God provided it! 

I see a parallel:  It was raining and cold.  Life can be such.  But when we fight back and build a “fire” in our heart with the Word of God, and keep putting “brushwood” on it by studying/meditating/growing, the vipers in our life will come out of the fire and attack us.  As Christians, the more we grow, the bigger the threat we are and the more the viper (satan, the enemy) wants to attack.  You see, if we don’t apply any heat, the viper remains comfortable and unthreatened.  But when heat (the Word, faith) is applied, he will attack.  And people are watching.  They’ll make assumptions about why things come against us.  They’ll blame God or think we deserve it somehow.  People expect the worst when you say “cancer,” but because of Jesus, I choose to shake off that cancer viper, praise God!  And just like Paul, You’ve encouraged me so many times, especially since the lymphoma diagnosis.  I am healed; I know it.  But during this journey, You have sent people to encourage me with a Word of confirmation You’ve give to them.  You bless me so, Lord!  Thank You so much!

Acts 28:5:  But he shook off the creature into the fire and suffered no harm.

Acts 28:15:  And from there, when the brethren heard about us, they came to see us…  When Paul saw them, he thanked God and took courage.

February 15, 2020 (Post #27)

(From Journal #2:  August 15, 2005)

Back in May I began to visit another church.  Our regular church added an early service, so I go to one church at 8:00 with John the other at 10:00 by myself.  While I love our church, the pastor and the people, there’s really no teaching on faith or healing.  To be frank, the pastor couldn’t really pray for me in faith that God wants me healed.  There were too many “ifs” in the prayer.  It just sort of negates the value of our faith having any role in what we receive.  That’s not what I read in the Word? I do realize people of great faith don’t always survive, but Jesus clearly mentioned the role of faith in those He healed and those who did not receive healing.

Yesterday, the pastor’s wife at the new church caught me as I was leaving and I told her I can now come regularly.  I explained to her that spiritually the other church wasn’t helping me stand in faith for healing.  She told me she’d written down something the Lord had given her a few days before and now she realized it was meant for me.  She took a piece of paper out of her Bible and when she read it, it astounded me!  Then she said, “Girl, the Lord really loves you.”  Thank you, Jesus!  This is what You told her:

“This is an exercise of faith.  You have to protect your faith from doubt and unbelief.  Words and thoughts are the most powerful weapons for or against your faith.  It means having to separate yourself from doubt and unbelief UNTO thoughts and words of faith in what you read, watch and hear… including the people you associate with.  Be yoked with people of like faith and you’ll witness the manifestation of your desires.  Be yoked with unbelief and you risk the frustration of the postponement, or even unfulfilled desire.  Your faith is precious.  Don’t allow little foxes to steal it.  Everything was made by the God-kind of faith, and it’s a gift from your Father.  It’s a mystery to the world and a treasure for the believer.  Pray for all close-knit relationships and associations to be of faith and agreement, especially where your desires and needs are concerned.  Because “if any two (agree)…it shall be done.” 

Lord, thank You for this Word.  Unbelief is contagious.  I want to protect my faith.

Matthew 18:19: “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.”

John 11:40:  Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God?”

Mark 10:52:  “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

Mark 5:34:  And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”

January 10, 2020   (Post #23)

(From Journal #2:  March 30, 2005)

Yesterday I had my 4th and last treatment!  I’m praying for a clean scan in 6 weeks.

Lord, You’ve helped me realize something good I’ve not been doing.  I’m so grateful this instinctively was inside me, because You said in Luke 7:45, “…For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”  I’ve not once said that I “have” cancer.  I’ve stated that I’ve been “diagnosed” with cancer and/or “battling” cancer, but I have not taken ownership of cancer!  It doesn’t belong to me; You nailed it to the Cross!

The more that I meditate on this, the more I see how powerful this is in building our faith in Your Word and not our circumstance.  Romans 10:17 says “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

If we speak words of ownership about sickness, then every time our ears hear those words, we build faith in the sickness, not the healing!  But when I use the terms “diagnosed” or “battling,” my ears hear that this is not acceptable and my faith is strengthened in the fact that sickness must leave!  I’m not allowing it to be part of my identity!

1 Peter 2:24  “…who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.”

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Proverbs 12:14:  “A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his mouth…”

Proverbs 13:3  “He who guards his mouth preserves his life….”

Psalm 141:3  “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.

December 6, 2019  (Post #19)

(From Journal #1:  March 6, 2005)

I’ve been reading Matthew, and Matthew 11:12 jumped out at me:  “From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.”  I am struck by the phrase “forceful men lay hold of it.”  I want to meditate and study this, and pray for revelation about what You want to show me, Lord.

John the Baptist was referred to as Elijah in Matthew 17:11-13.  Malachi 4:5 prophesies “Elijah” will come before the day of the Lord.  This is John the Baptist.  After Malachi, there were no prophets for 400 years.  In order to understand Matthew 11:12, I felt moved to study Elijah in 1 Kings 17. 

Elijah meets a widow who thought she was totally defeated.  She was gathering sticks to make a fire in order to prepare a tiny “last meal” for her son and her, and then to “die.”  He told her not to be afraid, to go home and do as she said, but first make a small cake for him, and then make food for herself and her son.  Elijah told her she would not run out of flour or oil until the Lord sends rain.  She did what Elijah told her and her supplies did not run out for many days.  This is in essence an example of tithing.  If we obey the Lord and put Him first, He will use whatever resources we have, no matter how small it seems to us.  He will magnify and multiply for as long as is needed.

Later the woman’s son became sick and he died, and she blamed Elijah!  But she is the one who had spoken death into their lives.  Elijah took the boy and cried to the Lord three times and the Lord brought him back to life!  Then the woman said to Elijah, “Now by this I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord in your mouth is the truth.”

Even though she had already seen and experienced a miracle from God, she did not really trust and believe.  When her son got sick, she did not remember His faithfulness in the past.  Trials come in our lives. We have to remember what the Lord has already done and have faith in Him to do it again. 

November 24, 2019  (Post #18)

(From Journal #1:  February 26, 2005)

I saw the doctor yesterday and my bone marrow is clear!  Praise You, Lord!  We went over treatment options.  We’re going to do an immunotherapy treatment called Rituxan.  I am so grateful not to do hard chemo and radiation!  I prayed for the doctor to have Solomon-like wisdom and I trust You are working through him.  I will take this treatment in faith.  There isn’t much data since it’s a new concept to take this drug alone, without chemo.  God’s data is perfect and I trust You, Lord.

The most amazing thing happened!  As I’ve been reading Your Word, Matthew 10:27 really spoke to me about the voice I heard whisper in my ear after surgery:  “What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.”  And then, I started thinking about how Jacob wrestled with the angel of God and the angel touched his hip and wrenched it, leaving him with a limp.  As I meditated on Matthew 10:27 and this story of Jacob, I asked You if this pain in my shoulder was a confirmation for me to KNOW that what I heard whispered in my ear was in fact an angel, in spite of the diagnosis I had received?  I literally felt the warmth of the Holy Spirit in my body and then the pain was gone!  Lord, thank You!

I’ve been condemning myself for even telling anyone about what I heard since the diagnosis came back as lymphoma, and that I am a “bad witness” for You.  But You have given this amazing confirmation as to what I heard.  I may not understand, but I still believe the lymph nodes are benign regardless of the diagnosis.  I don’t care what anyone thinks.  I believe You and only want Your Name to be glorified as healer.

Hebrews 10:23:  “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”

Hebrews 11:1:  “Now faith is the substance of what we hope for, the evidence of what we do not see.”

Isaiah 7:9:  “…If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.”

Psalm 119:116:  “Uphold me according to Your Word, that I may live; and do not let me be ashamed of my hope.”