May 21, 2023

It’s been well over a year since I have posted on this blog, but thank God, I am returning! The last few years, the last 3 in particular, have been extremely hard. My husband died in March 2022 after several years of illness. The stress and exhaustion of caretaking, loss, grief, and trying to rebuild my life stymied my energy and motivation to write. BUT GOD… He has loved me and carried me through some of the hardest times of my life and once again is inspiring me to share our story. It’s only fitting that the next “wisdom” from my journals is about realizing that He’s still at work in us and for us, even when we think things are dead, there’s still life underground! As I move forward with this blog, I plan to change things a bit. I will share current insights the Lord gives me, and then continue to share my journey of hope in chronological order. For those of you who have followed me, thank you for your patience.

Pearl

POST #67: (From Journal #10:  October 4, 2007)

There’s Life Underground!

I opened Your Word to Isaiah this morning.  Right off the bat, scripture was jumping out at me.  You are always there directing my path.  My ears will hear.  May my heart and mind always listen and choose what You are showing me.

Isaiah was talking of all the good things You replace for bad things in our lives:  “instead of briers, the myrtle will grow.”  Figuratively I get it, and literally I get it.  I see all the crepe myrtles that keep springing up in my yard.  May I see them all with fresh eyes – You replacing the briers in my life!  I remember last year after my ER visit in Atlanta while visiting Pam, coming home and working in the yard as an act of faith.  I dug up several “rogue” myrtles and replanted them.  

One in particular was so big and yet it seemed to die.  It was just a stick for so long.  I considered pulling it up because I assumed it was dead.  But then, after such a long time, I saw the tiniest bit of growth!  Now it’s growing well.  I got the lesson about how we don’t see things happening in our lives, yet “under the soil” You are growing the seeds that we’ve planted.  Now Lord, every time I see all these crepe myrtles spring up, I’ll know You are replacing briers!

This encourages me not to give up on the dreams and the callings I have felt you have for my life.  Just because in the natural it seems nothing is happening and the dreams have died, You are still at work!  There is life underground that I can’t see.  I just need to trust You, listen to Your directions, and watch for that little life to start pushing up out of the ground!

Isaiah 55:13:  Instead of the thorn bush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.  This will be for the LORD’S renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.

Isaiah 30:21:  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

November 17, 2020  (Post #54)

(From Journal #7:  September 18, 2006)

A few weeks ago I met with another surgeon about doing the hernia repair.  He does it by laparoscopy which is much better.  I was supposed to have it done a few days ago. But early in the morning on the day for pre-op lab work, I woke and felt Your Spirit telling me I was outside Your timing?  So I called and canceled trusting You would give me peace on when to reschedule.  I found out why when I had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist. He said everything was looking good, praise!  He suggested I have another CT scan before the hernia repair.  Thank You for having me wait.  While I wait, I know You are more than able to supernaturally heal this…

We’ve been painting a lot and finished three things.  It felt so good to complete the unfinished.  It was symbolic to me that You leave nothing undone.  It was a “breakthrough” in more than one realm.  I’m tired of “staying stuck” in any area of my life.  I am ready to move into a new level and want all that You have for me.  I am sick of the wilderness.

Then on Sunday, Pastor Rob’s sermon was so good and confirming.  I felt Your Holy Spirit so tangibly and had goosebumps all through the service.  He taught how You are not constrained by our natural time.  Case-in-point:  I received the message from You that no matter how many years I’ve wasted or how many mistakes I’ve made, there is always plenty of time for You to accomplish Your will in my life.  You have a way of making up that time.  Lord, I received that even though I didn’t go to art school and I’m getting a late start, You can catapult me as an artist.  If You desire for me to speak and give my testimony even though I have no platform, You can make it happen.  If You want all these lessons and thoughts written into a book or column, whatever, You’ll show me and make it happen. I just sat there and felt Your love and received that it’s never too late with You. 

I also felt You telling me to take the same faith I have about healing and use it in every area of my life.  It’s the same faith.  The enemy knows he can’t get me to waver where healing is concerned, so he’s attacking me in other areas, which creates stress that has a detrimental effect on my health.  We’re on to him! 

Today I was drawn to Joel 2:25:  “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…”  I appropriate that promise over my life, Lord.

Romans 8:28:   And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

March 15, 2020   (Post #31)

(From Journal #3:  September 12, 2005)

There’s nothing like cancer to make one reassess our lives about whether we’re fulfilling God’s plan for us?  I know He wants me to paint. I found a wonderful art institute in the town square and began a “beginner’s” art class last week since I’ve not painted in years.  There, I learned about another class I’m joining in a couple of days (that actually started last week) called The Artists’ Way.  I actually already had the book because someone once-upon-a-time had recommended it but I’d never done anything with it.  Isn’t that so like me and so much of my problem?  So many good intentions and desires, but nothing accomplished?

It asks you to do “Morning Pages” which is easy for me because I already journal.The Artists’ Way appears to be a bit like a “12-step AA” program for struggling artists.  That is clearly me; I never have been able to really call myself an artist.  I’ve allowed fear and insecurity to hold me back and make me think I can’t do it, and not qualified or worthy to say, “I am an artist.”  My mind is often my worst foe.  I get off track of what God wants me to do.  I get so overwhelmed by day-to-day “junk” that I never get around to painting.  I feel like a mouse on a wheel; my legs are spinning and I’m working hard but I never get anywhere…

I want and need to feel like I do something that matters. I want to have passion and excitement about my days.  I want to paint beautiful pictures without fear of rejection, without fear of perfection, without fear of any kind.  You have given me part of Your artistic love, but I haven’t fulfilled Your plan.  I want to and choose to!  I believe this class will help me.  I hope to bring You joy by “getting it” and finally allowing You to create beautiful works through my hands on canvas or however You choose.

It’s for Your pleasure, and if others appreciate it, that’s great.  But it’s not for the praises of man I need to pursue.  It’s You I want to bring pleasure and joy to, You! Am I Your canvas, Lord?  If I am to fulfill my purpose and plan I must surrender to You, listen to You, and allow You to show me the way.

Exodus 35:31-32:  …and He has filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, in cutting jewels for setting, in carving wood, and to work in all manner of artistic workmanship.

Ephesians 2:10:  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Proverbs 22:29:  Do you see a man who excels in his work?  He will stand before kings; he will not stand before unknown men.