Conflicting Reports?

November 18, 2019  (Post #17)

(From Journal #1:  February 22, 2005)

I didn’t hear from the doctor until yesterday, Monday.  The diagnosis is low-grade lymphoma.  I went to see him at 3:00 and had a bone marrow biopsy done.  It was awful!  But, You saw me through.  I go back Friday.  I stand on the promises of God that my bone marrow is normal!

I confess and repent some discouragement because I know I heard a voice tell me that day in recovery that it was benign?  I hold on to that even though I have been given a diagnosis of lymphoma.  I just read Romans 1-5.  Romans 4:19-22 really spoke to me:  “And not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old) and the deadness of Sarah’s womb.  Abraham did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He had promised.  And therefore it was accounted to him for righteousness.”

What does this tell me?  Even though I have had to face the fact of a diagnosis of lymphoma, I must not waver in unbelief.  I must still give glory to God and know that God has the power to do what He promised in His Word.  The diagnosis doesn’t really matter.  All that matters is God’s promise and His faithfulness and His power to heal.  Thank You, Jesus, for getting my eyes back on You alone.  I give you glory, Lord!  God has not left me nor forsaken me and He never will.  That is His promise.  

The moon was full again tonight.  It was one month ago today when we were in Arizona and the moon was so beautiful and comforting.  How appropriate that I saw it again tonight after such a bad day yesterday.

Hebrews 13:5:  ….For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

1 Peter 2:24:  …Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness – by whose stripes you were healed.

Galatians 3:13:  Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”)….

The Angel’s Touch

November 12, 2019  (Post #16)

(From Journal #1:  February 18, 2005)

I got home from the hospital yesterday.  The doctor came by before I left and said he hoped to have the biopsy results by Friday (today) and he’ll call me when he does.

Thursday I woke at 12:30 a.m., and had such an awesome time with You, Lord.  I felt such peace.  I know in my heart I am healed.  My right shoulder has been hurting and I didn’t know if it is because of how they positioned me in surgery?  But as I write this, I sense this pain in my shoulder is where the angel touched me after surgery, to remind me that I did feel and hear him tell me the lymph node is benign.  I believe the shoulder pain will be gone when I hear the next report of the Lord.

I love you Jesus and Father God so much!  Your faithfulness never fails.  As I read Your Word, let fresh revelation sink into my spirit.

Daniel 10:18-19: Then the one who looked like a man touched me again, and I felt my strength returning. “Don’t be afraid,” he said, “for you are very precious to God.  Peace!  Be encouraged!  Be strong!”

Psalm 91:11 :  For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

Psalm 34:7:  The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,And He delivers them.

By the Light of the Moon

September 27, 2019 (Post #11)

(Journal #1: January 23, 2005 Cont’d)

Last night when we went to get dinner, every restaurant in Scottsdale was full and had at least an hour’s wait.  Finally we tried a little French restaurant which also was full.  But You blessed us and they provided us a table outside, underneath the most incredibly bright moon!  

For the past several nights I have wakened in the early hours of the morning and prayed while looking at the moon.  I felt God’s Light shining on me every time.  So last night at dinner, I felt You looking down on us and it blessed and comforted me.  Thank You, Lord.

No matter what is coming against me, I know that I am healed and You will use this experience to have me help and encourage others and keep the enemy from stealing, killing and destroying others!  I could sit here and journal all day about Your faithfulness in my life.  I’m going to pray and then go out into this beautiful day and enjoy the works of Your hands.  Then I’m coming back to continue reading and meditating Your Word.

It’s now night and the full moon is right outside our window.  Your light is shining on me.  I will never see the moon the same, Lord.  I will forever see it as the Light of Jesus!  Lord, You always provide light: the sun, the moon, and the stars.  As bright and as beautiful as this moon is, it’s just a speck of Your Glory!

Psalm 8:3-5:  When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that You care for them?

Psalm 136:7-9:  …Who made the great lights, His love endures forever.  The sun to govern the day, His love endures forever.  The moon and stars to govern the night; His love endures forever.

John 1:5:  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

The Spa Revelation

(Journal #1: January 23, 2005) Post #9

Waited all day Wednesday to hear the results of the PET scan.  There was a 2nd mass found behind my left kidney. Praise you Lord for revealing another “sneak attack” of the enemy.  No other suspicious places were found!  Praise!  I am so grateful for Dr. Duncan’s wise counsel.

Thursday, January 20th was my 49th birthday. I spent the whole day waiting by the phone for Dr. Duncan to call me with a recommendation for an oncologist.  He’d been in meetings but called as promised and gave me the name of a great doctor at Baylor.  He’s going to call him on my behalf.  Thank You for sending this precious man into my life to help me.

My Christmas present from John was a gift certificate to a local spa….the works.  I had put the certificate in the drawer of a kitchen desk. Forgot about it actually with all that’s been going on.  So, the day after my birthday I decided to use it; I certainly needed the relaxation.  As I was lying on the massage table, I was silently praying to You and thanking You for this opportunity to be pampered and to help ease the tension.  And I heard in my spirit,  “Your husband bought this gift certificate and paid for it in full.  All you had to do was take it and receive it.  But you put it in a drawer.  This is just like with the Cross.  I bore your sin and your sickness so you don’t have to.  But so many of you don’t take it and receive it.  It’s there waiting for you, bought and paid for.  But you have to receive it.”  

Isn’t that the truth?  Jesus, You did ALL on the Cross and yet we hold back and refuse to receive.  We blame You for what is missing in our lives and yet You have already done it.  We just haven’t done our part.  We have to take the “Cross Gift Certificate” out of the drawer and receive what You have already paid for!

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

The Gift of Red Birds

(Journal #1: January 17, 2005) Post #8

Today I go for the PET scan.  I fasted yesterday and have been taking communion daily.  I am really understanding how powerful and reverent communion is and what it means to discern and recognize Christ’s body and shed blood.

Fear hit me some yesterday.  But Jesus, when I cried out, You reached out Your hand to keep me from sinking into a pit of fear.  You sent me three redbirds yesterday and I saw another one this morning!  You know how much I love them.  Their beautiful red color stands out among all the other birds.  It reminds me of Your blood, shed for my sins.  Every time I see one it makes me smile.  I feel as though You’re letting me know You are with me.

1 Cor 11:23-31  For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, took bread, and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.”  In the same way, after supper He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death  until He comes. Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord.  A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.  For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself.  That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

(Journal #1: January 8, 2005) Post #4

Praise God!  What a difference a day makes! So much You have done in 48 hours!  Two days ago, I got on my knees in my closet and cried out to You to show me what to do, and did You ever!  On Thursday after I prayed, I was just doing some work around the house. You brought to my remembrance a doctor I’d seen once on Life Today with James Robison. He did body scans at a price to make it affordable for people if insurance didn’t cover. I remembered how impressed I was with him and I had written down his name on a sticky note and put it inside my Daytimer. Well, that note was still there. I did a little research and found that Dr. Duncan had been on Life Today almost two years to the day. I called the office just to get some information.  A man answered the phone and I explained that I had seen Dr. Duncan on TV and wanted to get information.  He identified himself as Dr. Duncan!  His assistant had stepped away from her desk and he was walking by when the phone rang and he “just happened to answer.”  I described what had been going on and he got me right in to his office yesterday!  I had a body scan done. There is no calcium in my arteries at all, but he is recommending me to a cardiologist just to be wise.  He did say they always have a radiologist read the scan results to make sure nothing was missed on the initial review.

When I opened my bible this morning my eyes first fell on Daniel 10:12-14: “…Do not be afraid, Daniel.  Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.  But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days…” This shows me how important it is to believe you receive when you pray. But we also have to first set our minds to gain understanding and to humble ourselves. Satan fought for twenty-one days to prevent the angel from appearing.  We may not see immediate results, but that doesn’t mean You did not answer our prayers.  It’s during this “delay” where so many of us give in to doubt, fear, and unbelief.  

Mark 9:24  …”I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.